CFOSnafu.com » 10 funniest job descriptions — is yours on the list?

10 funniest job descriptions — is yours on the list?

February 26, 2009 by Shane Borer
Posted in: "Would you want this person in Finance?", Assessments, Special report

Financial Crisis

Sometimes, there’s a big difference between what your job responsibilities are on paper and what you actually do.

No one knows that better than cartoonist Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert. On his Dilbert Blog, he gave readers a creative assignment: “Describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.”

Although there were hundreds of responses, Adams was able to narrow it down to these ten job descriptions:

  1. Fast food worker — Making food that is as healthy when it goes into someone’s body as it is when it comes back out.
  2. Technical writer — Writing words that no one wants to read.
  3. Assistant horse trainer — Cleaning up after an animal that makes more money than I do in a year.
  4. IT director — Repeatedly fixing what employees repeatedly break.
  5. Quality Assurance tester — Making people feel bad about their work.
  6. Landscape photographer — Showing people how beautiful the Earth would be if they didn’t live on it.
  7. Incident manager — Calling people who know what they’re doing — and then asking them what they’re doing.
  8. College professor — Talking in other people’s sleep.
  9. Baseball umpire — Standing on a field and getting yelled at for hours.
  10. Divorce lawyer — Helping people hate one another.

Does summing up your job in one sentence make it sound different — or funny? Share your own descriptions in the comments section below.

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6 Responses to “10 funniest job descriptions — is yours on the list?”

  1. Melissa Says:

    Human Resources Directors – Babysitter for an entire company.

  2. Terrie Says:

    I draft employment agreements and severance agreements for on air personalities, prepare responses to discrimination complaints and track employment litigation in a Corporate Legal Department at paralegal wages, while my attorney gets all the credit for my work and double the pay.

  3. Akber Panjwani Says:

    Restaurant Accountant : Cooking books, only my boss likes the taste – no one else is supposed to know the dish and the recipe anyways !

  4. Chris Says:

    RISK ANALYST: TELLING PEOPLE WHERE THE CLIFF IS, HOW HIGH IT IS AND THEN WATCHING THEM JUMP OVER THE EDGE, FOLLOWED BY PICKING UP THE PIECES.

  5. Kary Klein Says:

    Staffing Company Coordinator: Sending people to work who won’t show up.

  6. Fred Says:

    Accountant: Management’s scapegoat when layoffs and cost cutting are necessary.


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