13 things you can’t talk about at work
January 29, 2009 by Shane BorerPosted in: "Would you want this person in Finance?", Special report
People might feel compelled to bare their hearts and souls to co-workers, but now more than ever, bringing up these subjects could land even top-performers out on the street.
Most workers have been guilty of sharing a little too much information at least a few times during their careers, but the latest survey from CareerBuilder says that TMI is more dangerous than you might think.
According to the survey, sharing too much with others could hurt your reputation, your relationships — and even your job security.
Here are the 13 items CareerBuilder suggests you avoid while on company time:
- Medical history — People may treat you a little differently if they know the extensive list of your prior illnesses.
- Your privileged life — Graduate from Ivy League? Driving a Mercedes while your BMW’s in the shop? No one likes a show-off.
- Personal networking sites — Proud of your constantly updated blog about the plot twists on Lost? Save the online conversation until after-hours.
- Confidential or need-to-know work info — If you can’t be trusted to keep so-and-so’s upcoming termination on the down-low, don’t be surprised to see yourself next in line for the door.
- Your love life — No one wants to witness you walking on air one minute and sobbing on your lunch break the next, especially if it’s because of a failed office romance.
- Politics – Especially with a newly-elected President in office, politics can turn from friendly conversation into a months-long debate.
- Salary info — With so many people feeling like they’re on the chopping block, money’s a subject best between you and Payroll.
- Therapy – Even if your sessions are going better than ever, it’s best to keep them out of office chatter, especially if petty co-workers are within earshot.
- Your personal life — Perhaps the riskiest topic on the list — not because it’s always inappropriate, but because it’s difficult for some to draw the line where personal life ends and work life begins.
- Job-searching or plans to quit — There’s one thing worse than using company time to search for another job: bragging to co-workers about your killer resume.
- Religion – It can be just as volatile as politics, minus the election coverage every four years.
- Gossip – Whether you’re doing the spreading or you’re the subject of the rumor mill, gossip can easily lead to angered co-workers — or bosses.
- Comedy routines — Every workplace needs humor, but doing your best impression of George Carlin’s “Seven Words” probably isn’t going to appeal to everyone else.
Of course, after eliminating this baker’s dozen from your list of things to discuss while at the office, you’re only left with one thing: work.
What do you think? Should all incidents of TMI be removed from the office? Are co-workers expected to open up, considering how much time you spend with them in the office? Sound off in the comments section below.
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Tags: Job security, Office conversations, Office gossip, TMI, Top-performers
January 30th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I agree with all of these. There would be so much less difficulty in offices, warehouses, and other places of business if nothing personal went on there.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Beginning to sound like high school – no pda.
The balancing act involved in keeping things “business appropriate,” varies a lot from company to company.
For most of my career I worked for companies with “no fraternizing” rules – which I very reluctantly kept. Doing so was probably the worst decision I made for many years.
Especially if you’re working long hours (60+/week) you really don’t have much of a life outside of work. And if you don’t do bars & such, you don’t meet many people.
On the other hand, I’ve worked inside several companies where everyone was expected to become “family,” spending a lot of their social time outside work with co-workers.
Things work best somewhere in between.
If there is no social interface between workers, productivity suffers as does employee morale.
Too much (I’m not looking for a “family” thanks!) is smothering.
On average, people make mistakes more often than not (otherwise a .300 batting average wouldn’t be anything exceptional.)
Tolerance is necessary in the work place just as in the general society (only moreso as you are kinda stuck together.)
Best is to give employees clear ideas of what isn’t tolerated–not specifics, but ranges.
You may be want to limit religious discourse, but you probably don’t want to eliminate people’s religious symbols (head scarves, pendents, Ash Wednesday marks etc.
It’s common sense, but that is uncommon, so needs to be explicitly explained.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Although I agree with most of the recommendations on the list, I feel political, religious and social topics should never be off limits in any venue. One of our greatest challenges today is achieving consensus in our society on a wide variety of issues. I believe that political correctness, as implied in this article, has resulted in only the extremes being heard, (due to media’s penchant for focusing on the fringes, thus imparting the illusion the radicals reflect popular belief.) Due to political correctness, there are no discussions in which the rest of us share our perceptions, ideas and concerns about the many issues we face as a nation. We have become a nation in which the majority of us have been marginalized. Unfortunately, the result is we are unable to resolve issues, and our rights uder the First Admendment are diminished.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I agree with some of the list also but I also know that right now people are putting in 60 – 70 hours a week and thier life is work. Sometimes you need a confidante just to release. Things are tight out there and if I thought it could cost me my job for speaking with my co-workers about life outside of the office I would keep my mouth shut!
January 30th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I’m with Rich. There is a way to talk about social issues, religion and politics that is not in your face and offensive. Making topics of conversation off limits because some individuals cannot discuss them thoughtfully does not help anyone. I firmly believe in education and not coercion in all aspects of life. If you cannot learn from or influence the people you are working with and spending the majority of your time with you will have a difficult time building a cohesive team. Individuals’ world views influence their work more than most people realize.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Charles – could not be said better!!
January 30th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Most of us spend more time out of our lives with the people we work with at the office than we do with our personal families. It’s a shame that the US is a work-a-holic country unlike other countries that encourage and create laws to help families spend time together.
The US will always have the office to personal connection as long as we all work more than not during the week.
Co-worker friendships are healthy.
Thanks!
January 30th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
There are definitley some items on the list that shouldn’t be discussed (confidential information and salaries are the big ones). I think it is ok to talk to co-workers about personal issues but at the same time be smart enough to know when to draw the line. You also have to know who you can talk to about certain issues and at many organizations those people are easily singled out.
A good portion of my life long friends are those whom I’ve met through work. Plus, having someone to talk to or joke around with reduces work stress significantly.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Though we all say there is “a way” to discuss politics, money, religion etc. there is always the person in my office who cannot have an educated conversation but needs to be demeaning and even verbally abusive when their view is disagreed with. People who have college educations are looked down upon (because “the socialist man only tells them how to think – college graduates are only kids who don’t have their own opinion”). All in all, I would rather stay completely silent all day long than voice an opinion or try to have a friendly conversation and only get abused.
Thanks but no thanks.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Most of the friends I have today and my husband are from relationships I formed at the office. Considering my attitude towards my marriage of 15 years, I agree with nixing the office romances but people who form personal friendships with co workers work better together. I do agree that there needs to be some seperation of fraternization between management and employees. I don’t agree with managers becoming “best buds” with employees because that could lead to problems if there is disciplining or terminations that must be done. I also don’t believe that people should discuss their politics or salaries with anyone else.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Having been in supervisory positions most of my working career, I have had co-workers “spill their guts”, aski me not to pass it on, then more than often, find them telling everyone who would listen the whole story… then find them wondering “why are my co-workers treating me differently?”
Political and religious discussions can lead to long drawn out debates and/or arguements, so, use caution when starting on this path. Again, as a supervisor, when I have been waiting for reports, walk over to the worker, and find them in deep “personal” discusions, rather then working, well, needless to say, problems did arise.
Overall, I have befriended many co-workers over the years, and retained many of these friendships, but have always watched the line – business is business and personal is personal.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
It is very important to be able to talk with co-workers, joke, etc. However, you must know the ‘Who, What and When’ answers first. People of the same caliber seem to scope each other out within days of beginning a new job. This is how ‘Clicks’ begin. If a company can focus as a whole unit, instead of in ‘Silos’ it is such a good thing. a big part of the interview process is finding someone that you know will ‘fit in’ as well as be qualified for the position. Having a confidant or a ‘support group’ can really help to lessen the stress on an individual; calm them down and possibly keep them from doing something that could cause them their job, because they are upset or misinformed…..Also this group will tend to work harder for a mgr that they can talk to (to an extent, the fine line comes into play) but the team work you get from people forming these relationships is great. Of course you are going to have the group of ‘Negative’ personalities that are always trying to recruit; but eventually they are all weeded out and sent packing; and in some cases I have seen, once the group is broken up, most of them were merely sheep led into the Negativity…..and they turn out to be great people and brilliant team leaders!! I have witnessed all of the above. But work should not be ‘Jail’ or nothing will be done as good as it could have been and the stress would be thru the roof. You would have people trying to think of reasons to Not show up; let someone else do it, etc. Hey, life is hard enough, I believe work should not be!!
January 30th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Oh please, use your filters and don’t be stupid. No rocket science here. You are at work, not at an open ended therapy workshop retreat. If you haven’t figured out by now when a coworker you don’t know well or don’t do thing extensively outside of work asks you “how its going?” and you want to tell them all your problems instead of “fine, how about you”, then maybe your lack of common sense makes you deserve a bad rep.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Most of us spend more waking hours with our co-workers than we do with our family. There has to be some interaction other than work. How much is too much? That is the gray area that is different for every employer. The list is a good reminder of what’s over the top.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
A major snafu would be to discuss your feelings or beliefs on the subject of abortion at work because it is likely that at least one person within earshot has had an abortion and is not interested in sharing their views, rightly or wrongly, on that subject. So don’t even go there.
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:07 am
Not that I disagree with anything on this list, but it is difficult when a young manager starts out. He/she wants to enforce this list in their department, but most sites such as monster and careerbuilder say the top reason people leave a job is because they feel disconnected from their boss and/or the company or that they are not known as a person. It is a fine line to walk and you need to know the culture of your company before bringing up any of these topics.
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:59 am
List and comments are all great – however, education and work experience does not bread good old “common sense” I have alwasy like the phrase “small minds big mouths” you have to keep your ears open before and after you open your mouth. Everyone needs someone at work to confide in just listen. look before you choose. Boss, just like others love gossip (both MALE and female)!!!!!!
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I’ve always been one to say “I’m here to do a job, not make friends.” Now that doesn’t mean I want to make enemies either, but my committment is to do my job well and contribute to the overall success of the company. Sure, its important to get along and make sure that coworkers know that you see them as another human being, which is rolled up in that “contribution”, but to invest energy in developing, nurturing, or maintaining work relationships tells me, as a manager, that you don’t have enough work to do.
March 31st, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I hate the ones who talk about everything and anything. For instance, one co-worker talks and always repeats the same story to the next person and the next. We work in the same office. I don’t want to keep hearing the same comments 3x. If you go on vacation, fine. Don’t talk about it for months on end and the trip is not going to happen until four months from now. I have to hear about the trip, what part of the country, what airline, time and date of flight, the change in flight – BLAH, BLAH, BLAH – WHO CARES! The co-worker likes to hear himself talk, I believe. It’s too much, and no one wants to keep hearing the same story day in and out from 7:30 in the am until this person leaves at 4pm. The same person will get off the phone from a conversation they just had and then will come to my desk repeating it, and then I have to look at this person and inform them – “I heard your entire conversation”. This person sits barely 5 steps away from me. This person is married and needs a life!!