We hear these responses from co-workers on a daily basis. What are they really trying to say?

Here are some polite phrases often heard by employees, followed by what they’re probably thinking:

• My alarm didn’t go off. “The prospect of waking up at an ungodly hour and sitting in traffic for 40 minutes just to waste away in my cubicle wasn’t very enticing to me at 7 a.m., so I hit the snooze button.”
• I’d be happy to. “Another task for me to do? Sure thing. Let me just add it to the pile of the 47,013 other mundane things I have to complete this week. No, please, don’t give me any of the credit, either. I just wouldn’t feel right about it.”
• No, I don’t have any questions. “Even if I were listening to a single word you’ve said, I wouldn’t have understood what the heck you’re saying. But I can’t ask questions without you thinking I’m a complete idiot, so I’ll just sit here and nod my head like one.”
• I’m right on schedule. “Actually, I spent the majority of the last few days cruising YouTube and avoiding this project. By ‘on schedule’ I mean that I’m not going to sleep for the next two nights and may suffer a life-threatening panic attack.”
• It’s just my allergies. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got the latest incarnation of the Black Plague, but I’d rather keel over at my desk than use one of my personal days for sick leave. Don’t worry, though, I’ll cough into my elbow and spare you my hazardous germs.”

Tags: Allergies, Excuses, Lies at work, Polite