Used right, performance reviews help employees work on specific skills. Here’s how not to give feedback.

These excerpts from federal employee evaluations probably weren’t very helpful — unless laughter is what you’re striving for:

• “Since the last report, this employee is no longer at rock bottom. He’s actually started to dig.”
• “His men would follow him anywhere — but only out of morbid curiosity.”
• “When she opens her mouth, it seems like it’s only so she can change feet.”
• “This employee should go far — and the sooner he does, the better off we’ll be.”
• “She sets low standards and then consistently fails to achieve them,” and
• “This man has the whole six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds them all together.”

Of course, there’s always more than one way to tell an employee or co-worker that their performance is “lacking.” What’s the best — or worst — evaluation you’ve heard in the office?

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Tags: Employee evaluation, Finance, Performance review, Rock bottom, Standards