Portuguese businessman Orico Silva chose the latter route when his in-court financial dispute ended in bloodshed. Silva, who owns a 50-acre farm in the town of Figueira da Foz, was sued by a title company for holding onto a cash deposit on a land deal that had fallen through.

When Silva refused to pay off his $217,000 debt, a judge declared that part of his farm needed to be sold. That’s when Silva removed a butcher’s knife from his briefcase and cut off one of his fingers.

“My intention was to tear up all the case papers and splatter them with blood so I could prevent the expropriation order for my land,” Silva was quoted as saying. After shocking the judge and lawyers, he proceeded to cut his severed finger into three pieces to further protest the sale.

“I didn’t feel anything, I could even have cut off all my fingers,” said Silva. “It was an act of despair.”

Bookings for Santa Claus have dropped so steeply leading up to the holiday season that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, representing over 700 Santas, had a series of meetings to discuss their economic survival.

Communities and businesses want to keep the same level of cheer as in years past, but many simply can’t afford the cost of bringing in the jolly red man. The Order’s tips:

• If customers can’t afford an hour-long visit by Santa (at $125 an hour), offer a “quickie drop-in” for cheaper, and
• Suggest alternatives, like Santa reading a story to the group, instead of every child sitting on his lap.

Even entire cities have to cut back. For example, Gatlinburg, TN, will have a smaller parade this year. Even though the city installed energy-efficient bulbs in its holiday displays that cut the electric bill by 95%, more reductions still need to be made.

First on the hit list: Rocky and Bullwinkle balloons, which cost nearly $1,000 a piece just to fill with helium.

That’s what nearly happened at Cleary, Gottlied, Steen & Hamilton, an international law firm with a major office in New York. When the firm helped managed the sale of Lehman Brothers’ assets to Barclays Capital, Inc., an Excel reformatting error nearly put the company in over its head.

According to CGSH lawyers, a second-year associate asked a less-experienced employee to reformat an Excel document containing the Lehman contracts to be assumed by Barclays. When the employee resized the rows and made other alterations, 179 contracts were mistakenly added to the purchase agreement — far more than Barclays wanted to purchase.

The case to have the additional contracts thrown out is still making its way throw New York’s bankruptcy courts, in the wake of Lehman’s recent collapse.

That’s what happened when Mark Poveromo hired a contractor to build a new office space for his pet food business in Thomaston, CT. He hired builder Mark Koch for an $80,000 project to construct a building, and paid $39,500 up front. After discovering Koch hadn’t done any of the work, Poveromo filed a criminal complaint. Koch was convicted of first-degree felony larceny, paid $25,000 of the money back and began making monthly payments on the remaining balance.

But two months before Koch was convicted, he filed for bankruptcy protection in St. Louis, which halted any monetary claims against him — whether they were criminally related or not.

Poveromo said Koch’s bankruptcy notices were sent to an invalid business address — to the office Koch had failed to build — but a judge ruled the crooked vendor was protected from Poveromo’s suit. The business-owner was forced to pay back the restitution (of his own money) to Koch, as well as attorney’s fees and costs.

“I can’t even begin to fathom it,” said Poveromo. “Crime does pay.”

Off the top of your head, how much would you think a one-hundred billion dollar Zimbabwe bank note is worth in American currency?

It depends on who’s buying, but both answers are bad news for the African country: The official conversion rate is $5 for every one-hundred billion Zimbabwe dollars, but collectors have been paying up to $80 for each note on eBay.

The new note, launched this week, was an attempt to help the suffering economy, but it’s already too little, too late. One note is usually worth enough to buy a single loaf of bread, but only if residents are lucky enough to find food on depleted store shelves.

More signs of the poor times:

• It’s actually cheaper to light a fire with lower-denomination bills than it is to use newspaper.
• Lottery prizes and house prices are listed in the quadrillions.
• Inflation is quoted at 2.2 million percent by official estimates, but independent analysts quote it close to 12.5 million percent.
• Beggars and homeless don’t bother to pick up dropped bills on the street.
• Converting Zimbabwe dollars into U.S. dollars is pointless — by the time the funds are processed, Zimbabwe currency can be expected to be worth even less.

It’s not just the poor suffering — a financial director for a prominent company in the country claimed his salary comes out to $50 U.S. dollars per month at the currency rate. At his local sports club, a hamburger costs $12 U.S. dollars. (He hasn’t eaten out in over a year.)

Even worse for the rank-and-file: One worker actually earns less than his daily bus fare to work, but makes a slight profit by selling firewood he takes home with him.

Thailand is offering bigger-than-ever cash incentives for Olympic medalists, but it’ll pay out its rewards in an installment plan to keep athletes from squandering their new-found riches.

Gold medalists will bring home $309,802, silver medalists will earn $185,881 and the bronze-winners will take away $123,935. Half of each award will be paid over a 20-year period because many athletes “might need this money when they get old,” said Thai Olympic committee member Charoen Wattanasin.

Most athletes can manage their own finances well enough, but Thailand has had a few bad experiences in the past with rambunctious Olympian winners. Most notable is boxer Manus Boonjumnong, winner of the 2004 gold medal in Athens. He spent his reward on card games, excessive partying and gambling on soccer. His pregnant wife left him, and he was sent overseas to train and reform his character. Manus is heavily-favored to bring home the gold again later this summer in Beijing.

Thailand has around 70 Olympic-bound athletes so far this year, but has only brought home medals in boxing, weightlifting and taekwondo.