Everyone’s got their verbal pet peeves, but odds are good you and your co-workers have more in common than you think when it comes to phrases that should never be spoken in the office.

After performing extensive research, scholars at Oxford University and author Jeremy Butterfield have devised a list of the ten most irritating phrases uttered by humans.

This top ten list appears in Butterfield’s latest book, “Damp Squid,” which was comprised from books, papers, magazines, journals, broadcast media and other sources:

1. At the end of the day
2. Fairly unique
3. I personally
4. At this moment in time
5. With all due respect
6. Absolutely
7. It’s a nightmare
8. Shouldn’t of
9. 24/7
10. It’s not rocket science

In addition to these expressions, Butterfield also came up with a runners-up list of phrases. Although it’s populated by office lingo like “think-tank” and “synergy,” the words “literally” and “ironically” nabbed honorable mention for being used incorrectly, or out of context the most often.

Does one particular word or phrase automatically send you or your co-workers off the deep end? Share your own pet peeves with others below.

There are right and wrong questions to ask when applying for a job. The right ones show how ready people are to tackle a job head-on. The wrong ones put them out of an interview so fast their heads spin.

Most potential hires spend so much time preparing and honing their answers for any question you might ask them that they don’t put any thought into what they’d like to ask your company.

According to Yahoo! HotJobs, a lack of preparedness for that part of the interview usually leads to someone asking one of these unsuitable interview questions:

1. “Are you going to perform a background check?” — Whether an applicant has credit issues or is worried about how solid their previous job references are, asking this question on a first interview usually makes it look like they have something to hide.
2. “How soon can I move to another position?” — Almost all employers want to keep new hires in their position for at least a year before moving them around, so a bait-and-switch isn’t likely to pan out anytime soon.
3. “Is [my medical condition] covered by your insurance plan?” — This one’s doubly wrong. Not only is it sharing private medical information with a complete stranger, but not all interviewers — especially if they’re not exclusively HR — will know what’s covered under the company’s health plan on a condition-by-condition basis.
4. “Can you tell me about the public transportation around the office?” — If you’ve got access to the Internet or a telephone, you can figure out the bus route to the office.
5. “When will I be eligible for a raise?” — Now more than ever, salary’s a difficult topic to handle. A better idea is to wait until the second interview and ask if a company holds one-year performance and salary reviews.
6. “Can I wait for [three or more] weeks before I start?” — Most employers expect a person to give two weeks’ notice. When an applicant asks for extra time off without a good reason, it begs the question: “How serious is the candidate about working here?”
7. “Do you have smoking breaks?” — If needing to run out and smoke impedes on your ability to work — or at least get through an interview — it’s time to drop the habit.

Are there any questions you absolutely want a Finance applicant to ask? Share your experiences in the comments section below.

With everyone a little worried about their jobs, hearing these once-innocent phrases could put them into an all-out panic.

People are more sensitive than ever about what their bosses and co-workers say in the office. Even things that would come up in casual conversation are being placed off-limits to keep office sanity.

Humor site BuzzWhack has compiled a list of the top ten words and phrases your co-workers absolutely cannot hear right now. What’s being said might mean one thing, but what people will actually understand it to mean is something entirely different:

1. “Because of the turmoil in the capital markets …” — Anything with “turmoil” and “capital” just makes people think about what used to be in their 401(k)s.
2. “We’re not planning layoffs — but there will be massive restructuring.” — It sounds so much better when you put it like that.
3. “Can we talk?” — Even things like “Let’s chat for a second” sound just as bad. Even worse: Starting it off with an impersonal tap on the shoulder.
4. “Don’t view this as a problem — see it as an opportunity.” — One that you can take all the time in the world to work on since you’ll be leaving us.
5. “They’re cramming everyone together in the conference room for a 4 p.m. meeting.” — There’s no better way to ring in the weekend than nervously sitting with all your co-workers.
6. “I’ve always thought of us as family around here.” — But if it comes down between firing you or my mother/brother/daughter, you’d better start packing up your desk.
7. “You’re a great team-player, but …” — Any compliment followed by a “but” means something bad will follow it. See also: “With all due respect …”
8. “Maintaining the status quo isn’t an option anymore.” — When your boss has to use a dead language to explain something, you can bet it’s going to be devastating news.
9. “Your performance review is coming up, isn’t it?” — Nothing puts co-workers on the defensive like having to justify how well (or poorly) they’re doing their jobs.
10. “We need to refocus and concentrate on our core business.” — That usually means the company’s going back to the way it was before an employee was hired.

Are there any phrases in your workplace that have recently become off-limits? Do you have even more things that should be kept mum? Share them in the comments section below.

Sometimes, there’s a big difference between what your job responsibilities are on paper and what you actually do.

No one knows that better than cartoonist Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert. On his Dilbert Blog, he gave readers a creative assignment: “Describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.”

Although there were hundreds of responses, Adams was able to narrow it down to these ten job descriptions:

1. Fast food worker — Making food that is as healthy when it goes into someone’s body as it is when it comes back out.
2. Technical writer — Writing words that no one wants to read.
3. Assistant horse trainer — Cleaning up after an animal that makes more money than I do in a year.
4. IT director — Repeatedly fixing what employees repeatedly break.
5. Quality Assurance tester — Making people feel bad about their work.
6. Landscape photographer — Showing people how beautiful the Earth would be if they didn’t live on it.
7. Incident manager — Calling people who know what they’re doing — and then asking them what they’re doing.
8. College professor — Talking in other people’s sleep.
9. Baseball umpire — Standing on a field and getting yelled at for hours.
10. Divorce lawyer — Helping people hate one another.

Does summing up your job in one sentence make it sound different — or funny? Share your own descriptions in the comments section below.

With the sheer number of applicants sending out their info, it’s never been harder to get noticed. Here are the five worst ways potential hires fail to separate themselves from the crowd.

Every Finance applicant coming through your door might stretch their experience or beef up their former job responsibilities, but with the number of people in the unemployment line, even those embellishments aren’t enough.

Because a flood of applicants is sure to greet any open positions, Finance pros have less time than ever to size up candidates when looking at resumes. According to job search and career advice site JobBound, there are five common mistakes that are sure to land an applicant’s info in the “do not hire” pile:

1. College accomplishments are front and center — Young job seekers might not have much knowledge of the working world, but that doesn’t mean GPA and positions as sports team captains are the last resource. Professional experience — internships, summer jobs, etc. — should be highlighted above all else.
2. Full sentences — Even if a hiring manager has more than a few seconds to scan a resume, it still needs to spell out the info as quickly as possible. Effective resumes explain candidates’ info quickly and clearly.
3. Sounds like a parroted version of the position opening — Finance and HR pros might be good at writing concise job descriptions, but echoing that back isn’t what they’re looking for. Applicants should avoid “broad strokes,” and write about what they did in previous positions, not what any person in the same position did.
4. There’s an objective statement — Targeted statements like these are usually only needed if an applicant is sending a resume in cold, not when an open position has been posted.
5. No numbers — Especially when applying for financial positions, accomplishments should be measurable. Resumes that focus on scope (how many reports handled, how often) and results (how much time/money saved) are sure to garner a closer look.

What does your department look for in new hires? Are there any resume red flags that automatically take applicants out of the hiring process? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

With more people than ever feeling like the ax is about to drop, some employees are taking drastic measures to make sure they’re not seen as expendable. Here’s how to beat them at their own game.

Ask any company about the best way to cut costs, and you’ll usually hear “think scalpel, not hatchet.” Instead of relying on quick-hit measures that’ll free up cash in the short term, most companies take a thoughtful and surgical approach to how their changes will play out.

But when all the fruit from the top of the tree is picked clean, even the best companies would have a hard time ignoring the low-hanging leftovers.

That said, many employees are scrambling to find some way to justify their positions. According to Business Finance magazine, the first key to staying off the cost-cutting radar is to look busy, but here are our favorite ways to look like the most indispensable employee ever hired:

• Always make sure there’s a mess of paperwork sprawled across your desk.
• Whenever you get the chance, have a meeting. Following it up with an e-mail that’s just a rehash of everything discussed beforehand doesn’t hurt, either.
• Whenever bosses or co-workers drop by to ask a question, tell them you’ve got to make a quick, important call but will stop by their desk in a few minutes.
• Keep as many documents as possible open on your desktop. It’ll look even more impressive if there are Excel spreadsheets and Powerpoint presentations stacked on top of one another.
• Send e-mail messages when you’re up late at night.
• Next time you’re eating lunch with friends from another department, remember one or two things they complained about and bring it up in your own department. It’ll make you look informed.
• Use words like “leverage,” “think-tank,” “synergy” and “proactive” as often as possible.

Do you have any other secrets to always looking as busy as possible? Are some of your co-workers guilty of these busy tasks? Let us know in the comments section below.

It doesn’t matter if there’s a spelling blunder in a memo, an e-mail or on a birthday card: If people are guilty of these grammar gaffes, people are going to tear them to pieces.

With more people juggling projects and rushing to complete tasks, company keyboards — and grammar knowledge from the 4th grade — are getting more of a workout than ever. Usually, co-workers would be willing to let spelling mistakes or other snafus slide, but psychologists are noting the more economically dire a work environment is, the more likely people are to jump on those kinds of errors.

The reason: Massive layoffs, rising debt and countless home foreclosures have people scrambling to seize control of something, even if it’s over something as simple as a misplaced quotation mark.

Questions like “How can I make sure I keep my job?” and “Can I ever pay off my mortgage?” may be difficult to answer, but deciding whether a sentence needs a comma or a semicolon is something with a concrete answer.

If you want to give people the chance to jump on grammatical mistakes, be sure to ignore these lessons:

#1 — Effect vs. affect

• No: The upgrade shouldn’t effect our computers.
• Yes: The upgrade shouldn’t affect our computers.
• Yes: The upgrade shouldn’t have an effect on our computers.

#2 — Lay vs. lie

• No: You should go lay down.
• Yes: You should go lie down.

#3 — Different from vs. different than

• No: Our cubicles are different than their cubicles.
• Yes: Our cubicles are different from their cubicles.
• Yes: Our cubicles are better than their cubicles.

#4 — Then vs. than

• No: This week’s check run was bigger then last week’s.
• Yes: This week’s check run was bigger than last week’s.
• Note: When a sentence begins with “If,” there’s no need for a “then.”
• No: If the snow doesn’t stop soon, then we’ll need to leave.
• Yes: If the snow doesn’t stop soon, we’ll need to leave.

#5 — Could of, would of vs. could have, would have

• No: I could of canceled the meeting, but I decided not to.
• Yes: I could have canceled the meeting, but I decided not to.

#6 — Loose vs. lose

• No: I always loose my meeting notes.
• Yes: I always lose my meeting notes.

When it comes to pointing out any of these errors, psychologists and writing professionals alike agree you should focus on the misused word rather than the person’s lack of spelling or grammar skills.

What do you think is the best method? Are there any other grammatical mistakes you see too often? Share your comments below.

People might feel compelled to bare their hearts and souls to co-workers, but now more than ever, bringing up these subjects could land even top-performers out on the street.

Most workers have been guilty of sharing a little too much information at least a few times during their careers, but the latest survey from CareerBuilder says that TMI is more dangerous than you might think.

According to the survey, sharing too much with others could hurt your reputation, your relationships — and even your job security.

Here are the 13 items CareerBuilder suggests you avoid while on company time:

1. Medical history — People may treat you a little differently if they know the extensive list of your prior illnesses.
2. Your privileged life — Graduate from Ivy League? Driving a Mercedes while your BMW’s in the shop? No one likes a show-off.
3. Personal networking sites — Proud of your constantly updated blog about the plot twists on Lost? Save the online conversation until after-hours.
4. Confidential or need-to-know work info — If you can’t be trusted to keep so-and-so’s upcoming termination on the down-low, don’t be surprised to see yourself next in line for the door.
5. Your love life — No one wants to witness you walking on air one minute and sobbing on your lunch break the next, especially if it’s because of a failed office romance.
6. Politics – Especially with a newly-elected President in office, politics can turn from friendly conversation into a months-long debate.
7. Salary info — With so many people feeling like they’re on the chopping block, money’s a subject best between you and Payroll.
8. Therapy – Even if your sessions are going better than ever, it’s best to keep them out of office chatter, especially if petty co-workers are within earshot.
9. Your personal life — Perhaps the riskiest topic on the list — not because it’s always inappropriate, but because it’s difficult for some to draw the line where personal life ends and work life begins.
10. Job-searching or plans to quit — There’s one thing worse than using company time to search for another job: bragging to co-workers about your killer resume.
11. Religion – It can be just as volatile as politics, minus the election coverage every four years.
12. Gossip – Whether you’re doing the spreading or you’re the subject of the rumor mill, gossip can easily lead to angered co-workers — or bosses.
13. Comedy routines — Every workplace needs humor, but doing your best impression of George Carlin’s “Seven Words” probably isn’t going to appeal to everyone else.

Of course, after eliminating this baker’s dozen from your list of things to discuss while at the office, you’re only left with one thing: work.

What do you think? Should all incidents of TMI be removed from the office? Are co-workers expected to open up, considering how much time you spend with them in the office? Sound off in the comments section below.

Resumes are supposed to reveal a lot about a candidate, but this employee claims she was fired for not mentioning she worked at a restaurant featuring skimpy uniforms.

Heather Kearney, a former criminal intelligence analyst at Iowa’s Department of Public Safety, says she was terminated for falsification of her job application. Kearney had worked for several years at Hooters, a restaurant chain where servers wear tight t-shirts and revealing shorts.

When she applied for her analysts position at DPS, Kearney said she omitted her position at Hooters on her resume because her experience there wasn’t relevant to the new job. However, she did mention her job as a server during her job interview.

Kearney has filed a lawsuit against the department claiming gender discrimination. Two men with less education were hired at the same time as Kearney, yet she’d been passed up several times for promotion. (Kearney has a bachelor’s degree in public administration, a master’s degree in international relations and 12 years of military experience under her belt.)

In court, the trial will come down to whether Kearney’s omission is the same thing as falsification. What do you think? Is leaving a position off of a resume the same thing as lying about it, or should Kearney have included the position on her resume? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.

Thought business was tough, no matter what industry you’re in? Not for these corporate spenders.

Days after the Seattle-based Starbucks Coffee Co. informed employees it was reconsidering how much it will match in their 401(k) plans in 2009, executives have just purchased a $45 million corporate jet — the third in the business’s fleet.

Starbucks ordered the Gulfstream 550 jet three years ago, but determined that canceling delivery of it would be too expensive. At the $45 million price tag the company locked in when it ordered the plane, it would cost $5 million to cancel the contract. The company would also lose any payments it had already made on the jet.

The Gulfstream’s maiden voyage was to Hawaii, where it spent two weeks before returning state-side. Company officials refuse to disclose who took the trip, but insisted that it was a combined business and personal trip. (Starbucks policy requires employees to reimburse personal use of the jet.)

Starbucks officials claim the jet is vital to the company’s business. Even though employees usually take commercials flights, a company spokesperson claimed: “In some instances, it makes more sense, from a time and economic standpoint, to use the corporate plane.”

Some good news about the jet: Starbucks won’t need to shell out extra for coffee-makers. The jet’s kitchen comes standard with them.