But that’s no reason to write off a potential hire. Below are our favorite resume one-liners, and why we might give the applicants a second chance:

1. “Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.” — Sounds like he’d have T&E reimbursement down to the letter.
2. “I am a rabid typist.” — We can’t wait for her to sink her teeth into that stack of invoices.
3. “Objectives: 10-year goal: Complete and total obliteration of sales and federal income taxes and tax laws.” — He’s either really into SSTP or an anarchist. Either way, month-end just got smoother.
4. “I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation.” — After a few months, he’ll wish he was the jester.
5. “Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.” — If nothing else, she’s honest.
6. “I eat computers for lunch.” — Just keep him away from the invoice scanning system, and he’ll do fine.
7. “Previous experience: Self-employed — a fiasco.” — Sounds like a team-player if there ever was one.
8. “Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.” — Good thing she’s accustomed to repetition — there’s a lot of it coming her way.