Everyone’s got their verbal pet peeves, but odds are good you and your co-workers have more in common than you think when it comes to phrases that should never be spoken in the office.

After performing extensive research, scholars at Oxford University and author Jeremy Butterfield have devised a list of the ten most irritating phrases uttered by humans.

This top ten list appears in Butterfield’s latest book, “Damp Squid,” which was comprised from books, papers, magazines, journals, broadcast media and other sources:

1. At the end of the day
2. Fairly unique
3. I personally
4. At this moment in time
5. With all due respect
6. Absolutely
7. It’s a nightmare
8. Shouldn’t of
9. 24/7
10. It’s not rocket science

In addition to these expressions, Butterfield also came up with a runners-up list of phrases. Although it’s populated by office lingo like “think-tank” and “synergy,” the words “literally” and “ironically” nabbed honorable mention for being used incorrectly, or out of context the most often.

Does one particular word or phrase automatically send you or your co-workers off the deep end? Share your own pet peeves with others below.

There are right and wrong questions to ask when applying for a job. The right ones show how ready people are to tackle a job head-on. The wrong ones put them out of an interview so fast their heads spin.

Most potential hires spend so much time preparing and honing their answers for any question you might ask them that they don’t put any thought into what they’d like to ask your company.

According to Yahoo! HotJobs, a lack of preparedness for that part of the interview usually leads to someone asking one of these unsuitable interview questions:

1. “Are you going to perform a background check?” — Whether an applicant has credit issues or is worried about how solid their previous job references are, asking this question on a first interview usually makes it look like they have something to hide.
2. “How soon can I move to another position?” — Almost all employers want to keep new hires in their position for at least a year before moving them around, so a bait-and-switch isn’t likely to pan out anytime soon.
3. “Is [my medical condition] covered by your insurance plan?” — This one’s doubly wrong. Not only is it sharing private medical information with a complete stranger, but not all interviewers — especially if they’re not exclusively HR — will know what’s covered under the company’s health plan on a condition-by-condition basis.
4. “Can you tell me about the public transportation around the office?” — If you’ve got access to the Internet or a telephone, you can figure out the bus route to the office.
5. “When will I be eligible for a raise?” — Now more than ever, salary’s a difficult topic to handle. A better idea is to wait until the second interview and ask if a company holds one-year performance and salary reviews.
6. “Can I wait for [three or more] weeks before I start?” — Most employers expect a person to give two weeks’ notice. When an applicant asks for extra time off without a good reason, it begs the question: “How serious is the candidate about working here?”
7. “Do you have smoking breaks?” — If needing to run out and smoke impedes on your ability to work — or at least get through an interview — it’s time to drop the habit.

Are there any questions you absolutely want a Finance applicant to ask? Share your experiences in the comments section below.

With everyone a little worried about their jobs, hearing these once-innocent phrases could put them into an all-out panic.

People are more sensitive than ever about what their bosses and co-workers say in the office. Even things that would come up in casual conversation are being placed off-limits to keep office sanity.

Humor site BuzzWhack has compiled a list of the top ten words and phrases your co-workers absolutely cannot hear right now. What’s being said might mean one thing, but what people will actually understand it to mean is something entirely different:

1. “Because of the turmoil in the capital markets …” — Anything with “turmoil” and “capital” just makes people think about what used to be in their 401(k)s.
2. “We’re not planning layoffs — but there will be massive restructuring.” — It sounds so much better when you put it like that.
3. “Can we talk?” — Even things like “Let’s chat for a second” sound just as bad. Even worse: Starting it off with an impersonal tap on the shoulder.
4. “Don’t view this as a problem — see it as an opportunity.” — One that you can take all the time in the world to work on since you’ll be leaving us.
5. “They’re cramming everyone together in the conference room for a 4 p.m. meeting.” — There’s no better way to ring in the weekend than nervously sitting with all your co-workers.
6. “I’ve always thought of us as family around here.” — But if it comes down between firing you or my mother/brother/daughter, you’d better start packing up your desk.
7. “You’re a great team-player, but …” — Any compliment followed by a “but” means something bad will follow it. See also: “With all due respect …”
8. “Maintaining the status quo isn’t an option anymore.” — When your boss has to use a dead language to explain something, you can bet it’s going to be devastating news.
9. “Your performance review is coming up, isn’t it?” — Nothing puts co-workers on the defensive like having to justify how well (or poorly) they’re doing their jobs.
10. “We need to refocus and concentrate on our core business.” — That usually means the company’s going back to the way it was before an employee was hired.

Are there any phrases in your workplace that have recently become off-limits? Do you have even more things that should be kept mum? Share them in the comments section below.

Sometimes, it seems like your health plan might be the one that needs the medical attention.

Whether you’re in for a regular physical or you’re taking a late-night trip to the ER, here are some signs that it’s time to upgrade your company’s medical plan:

1. Doctor’s exam room has a tip jar.
2. You saw a crab fork and grill tongs on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
3. To avoid lengthy and expensive throat culture tests, the doctor asks if he can just French kiss you.
4. Your surgeon proudly displays her diploma from the University of Benihana.
5. Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
6. The hospital’s MRI machine is actually an old copy machine, and
7. You can’t help think that those wooden tongue depressors taste faintly like Fudgesicles.

Got any other signs that it’s time to sign up with a different insurance provider? Share your ideas — or horror stories — in the comments section below.

1. Your boss is always saying “I want to see your butt in here at 8 a.m.!”
2. No one dares to steal your chair.
3. You can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
4. No more chipping in for gifts: “I’d love to give you something, but I left my wallet in my pants.”
5. It diverts attention away from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
6. People stop stealing all of your pens once they see where you keep them.

When you start comparing the differences between the joint and the office, sometimes an orange jumpsuit’s a better choice than a suit and tie.

Ever feel like your cubicle or office is a jail cell? Well, it’s not. A jail cell’s probably better. Here are some interesting comparisons pulled from around the Internet:

• In prison, you get time off for good behavior. At work, you get rewarded for good behavior — with more work.
• In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work, you have to carry around a security card and open all of the doors yourself.
• In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8-by-10 cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6-by-8 cubicle.
• In prison, you get three square meals a day. At work, you only get a break for one meal — and you have to pay for it.
• In prison, you usually get your own toilet. At work, you have to share.
• In prison, your friends and family are allowed to visit. At work, you can’t speak to your family or friends because it’ll distract everyone else.
• In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers with little work required. At work, you have to pay expenses just to get to work, and once you’re there, they deduct taxes from your salary … to pay for prisons.
• In prison, you spend most of your time looking through bars from inside wanting to get out. At work, you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
• Finally, in prison, there are wardens who are notoriously sadistic. At work, they’re called “supervisors.”

Ever noticed how similar your office is to another, less-than-ideal place? Let us know in the comments section below.

Your company goes the extra mile to make sure its business expense paperwork is bulletproof. Someone ought to clue in IRS.

For as thorough as IRS can be with most business’ tax records, you’d think it’d have a rock-solid reimbursement policy in place. But according to the latest report by the Government Accountability Office (GAO), it looks like IRS and other agencies couldn’t possibly have a worse program.

The review of over a dozen departments between 2005 and 2006 found that 41% of $14 billion in credit card purchases — whether they were legitimate or questionable — didn’t follow proper reimbursement procedure. And if that weren’t bad enough, for purchases that were over $2,500 — all of which are supposed to require several levels of authentication — 48% were improperly received.

We know what you’re thinking: That’s a whole mess of improper reimbursements. But it wasn’t just for employees milking gas receipts or upgrading to four-star hotels. Here’s a list of our favorite purchases that we can’t believe didn’t raise an eye or two a little sooner:

1. Army employees couldn’t properly account for 16 computer servers that totaled over $1.5 million. The servers were supposed to be both photographed and inventoried in the Army’s books, but GAO inspectors only found a picture of one of the servers.
2. Over a six-year period, a Department of Agriculture employee wrote 180 convenience checks to her live-in boyfriend. A whistleblower notified the GAO, and the cardholder was sentenced to 21 months in prison and must pay back $642,000.
3. A U.S. Postal worker charged $1,100 on his p-card to subscribe to pornographic and Internet dating sites. We know everyone deserves to find someone, but someone should’ve caught on sooner — the Internet charges were the only purchases made on the card for over a year.
4. Another Agriculture employee circumvented agency policy to purchase a brand-new Toyota Land Cruiser. He split the $80,000 purchase up by writing three convenience checks. Adding insult to injury: The convenience checks added up to an additional $1,000 in fees.
5. One NASA cardholder purchased two 60GB iPods at the request of his supervisor. The $800 might seem like small change compared to other purchases, but you can’t top the supervisor’s logic: The iPods were purchased to store only “official NASA information.” When GAO officials confiscated the devices, they were chock-full of personal photos, songs, videos — and engraved with the supervisor’s name and NASA logo.
6. A State Department cardholder purchased $360 worth of women’s lingerie at “Seduccion Boutique.” When asked to justify her purchases, the cardholder claimed the “gear” was used for jungle training during a drug enforcement program in Ecuador. Makes sense to us — as long as it was camoflauge print.

What’s the most absurd purchase you’ve ever seen, whether on a company card or T&E reimbursement form? Let us know in the comments section below.

Below are our seven favorite resume bloopers found on JobMob:

1. “Hobbies: enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians.” (We hear Italians have a lot of protein.)
2. “Achievements: Nominated for prom queen.” (Shucks, we’re only hiring reigning prom queens.)
3. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.” (We’d love for you to jump in and start messing things up for us right away.)
4. “Qualifications: Twin sister has accounting degree.” (Do you communicate with her telepathically?)
5. “Skills: I can type without looking at thekeyboard.” (Socanwe.)
6. “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.” (Great, could you check the leaky sink in the third floor bathroom?)
7. “Education: I have a bachelorette’s degree in accounting.” (Does your degree expire upon marriage?)

What’s the most outrageous mistake you’ve ever read on a Finance applicant’s resume? Dish it out in the comments section below.

Here are some alternative routes employees have taken to save money, and some interesting suggestions for those of you looking to do the same:

1. Scoot along. A Texas man rides a bamboo-covered electric scooter to work every morning. He even charges it with wind-generated energy. What the motor scooter lacks in style, it makes up in mileage: A Vespa gets 75 miles per gallon — nearly twice as much as even the most fuel efficient car.
2. With a paddle. If you live next to a river, why not glide to work every day in a kayak? A Pennsylvania native takes the Allegheny River to work each morning — 40 minutes each way. Plus, there’s no traffic, unless you count the fish.
3. Drive a moving billboard. A Los Angeles woman’s company pays her $500 a month plus the cost of gas to drive to work. All she had to do was transform her car into an advertisement on wheels for Jobing.com, an online recruiting company. She’s not alone: Sixty percent of her co-workers do the same.
4. Bicycle without pedaling. One man turned his 10-speed into an electric bike for $400 — pretty cheap when you consider the price of petroleum these days. It’s speedy: The bike hits 27 mph.
5. Over the snow. A Pittsburgh man blazes his own trail to work and back every day from December to March on his cross-country skis. If only it snowed year round.
6. Be your own pilot. Tired of paying outrageous airfare for his business travel, one man earned his pilot’s license and purchased his own plane. That investment should pay itself off one day. Hopefully by the time he retires.

Do you have a very alternative commute? Maybe you ride the local submarine to work? Let us know in the comments section below.

Between check runs, firing off memos and endless reporting cycles, you’re probably well-acquainted with your office chair — maybe a little too well.

When Finance beckons, it’s up to you to take care of things. But if you display one — or a few — of these signs, maybe it’s time for a summer vacation:

1. Your idea of “exercise” involves a few neck rolls and focusing your eyes on distant objects.
2. Friends and family members don’t bother calling you — they know they’ll get a quicker response via e-mail.
3. Your desk has strange discolorations from where your arms rest at least eight hours a day.
4. Taking a day off isn’t an option because you’d fall too far behind on your daily RSS feeds.
5. You’ve got the number for the Carpal Tunnel hotline programmed into your speed dial.
6. Because of the hours spent hunched over, your posture resembles a caveman’s.
7. After you’ve finished a long day of work, you get home and relax — by watching TV on the computer, playing Second Life and reading recreational blogs.
8. The only dreams you have are of the same tasks you normally do.
9. When you say it’s time for a “major change” in your life, you really mean you’re just going to change your desktop background.
10. You refuse to eat anything involving a fork and knife for lunch because you can’t use your mouse while munching.

How can you tell when it’s time for a break from the office? Let us know in the comments section below.